All or nothing is how I usually roll. Nothing different with my son’s financial education. I enrolled in about 12 courses, downloaded about 6 audio books, reserved book upon book at the library, googled till early hours of each and every morning and spent every waking moment absorbing whatever I possibly could. My husband (who is in finance) patiently answered my zillions of questions (well, not always that patiently)
But, the most important ingredient was missing. I didn’t for one minute think about the possibility of an emotional relationship with money. Until a barista, probably 20 years my junior introduced me to this very concept. My first reaction was “oh boy, here we go with the woo woo stuff”. I left the cafe indulgently licking the froth off my cinnamon soy cappuccino.
I have always done a lot of spiritual searching and questioning so of course, as hard as I tried, I could not let go of what she had said to me. And after a couple of days it became really clear to me. Until such time as I understood the emotional reasons behind why I spent my money in the ways that I did, or why I thought certain thoughts around people with or without money, nothing would change.
The WHY are the emotional reasons that drive us to make non-necessity purchases that we don’t need (and often can’t afford😣). If we can just own certain items or look a certain way, then maybe, just maybe we will feel happy, excited, successful, less stressed, more beautiful, distracted for a bit or feel that we belong or fit in.
The WHAT is what we spend our money on – clothes, renovations, paying for everyone’s drinks and many more.
The HOW are our spending patterns – bargain shopping, stocking up (just in case), stressed-out shopping, lift-me-up shopping, I-deserve-this shopping, distraction shopping, secret shopping, habit shopping and so on😥.
It has taken me a very long time but I can clearly see some of my why’s, what’s and how’s. I am sure there are more lurking somewhere but I am delighted at my discovery so far🌞. If our children understand that there is a whole truckload of emotions that go with money, they may just avoid some of the more costly mistakes 🔥later on in life.
Let’s make sure that our children understand their WHY and better still don’t have a WHY around money.